Tag Archives: nyc

How My Husband Gave Me a Slice of My City Back

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You may have been routed here from A Neux Chapter, or just stumbled here. Either way, glad you made it. This post is about how my husband, an Estonian citizen, showed me how to enjoy where I live for the first time. To actually look up, breathe, take in and slooooow down. It sounds silly, but the pace in New York City is not so vicious as everyone imagines. It’s worse.

Snap to a few years ago, accidental dating phase between my husband and I. See, he was my Japanese tutor initially ( yes, really. More on that later) and for one of our lessons we decided to try outdoors. We went to the Sheep Meadow section of Central Park

Beautiful scenic Sheep Meadow, so named for well, sheep.

I felt like I was in a snow globe. A beautiful dome of peace. The honking, city cacophony and general background was muted somehow. The sun shone and I looked, really looked around me. I saw people laughing, sun bathing, playing with their dogs and LIVING.

I almost wept.

I had not felt such inner quiet in so long. Regrettably, I had never stepped foot this far into to park. I did not understand the point of wasting time laying around. Surely its for people with the means to do so? Not for people hustling, moving from one part time job to the next in a string of 18 hour shifts that become so maddening Carbon Monoxide no longer seems as scary.

I digress. Mr.Trendyblackgirl, let’s call him Ursa (his real name means bear anyways lol) bemoaned the lack of nature in the city. He told me of how he missed towering trees, the sounds of animals and people getting along. To which I responded with:

So yeah, we made more trips there. As I slowly discovered parts of the city that I had been too “busy” to notice, Ursa empowered me to enjoy my surroundings.

What do you like best about your city?

Women’s Day 2020

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Last year, I watched Captain Marvel to celebrate International Women’s Day. This year, I was in a bit of a funk and almost stayed home.

My partner convinced me to get some air, and a give minute trip to the store became a full blow blown triathalon! We biked, took a ferry, walked, dodged traffic and just took in the city.

I was glowing! Sometimes New York City takes you by surprise. It fills you up and overwhelms you with the rhythm of life. Its beautiful. But it also makes me feel a bit jaded.

Back to the point, today ended up being an impromptu exploration of my senses, my city and myself. I learned new things about myself and revisited some not so savory aspects of who I am.

I’m proud of my growth and can continue this year with renewed vigor. I rarely post on my days off but I couldn’t let women’s day pass without a mention of how I take steps to become a more fully realized one.

Thanks for reading, I hope you are able to find things around you that inspire a second look at yourself.

Stay Trendy, Stay You TBG

Twinkle Twinkle Little Bao ~โ˜†

Posted in Food & Fun, Random Thoughts by

There’s this super cute dumpling shop near my job. They have a nice bao + specialty drink special for like $10.34 lol. The staff is really friendly and nice to look at lol.

They have the cutest Heimlich Maneuver poster:

I accidentally broke their floating magnet tree thing by mistake too >.< Cause I’m clumsy AF.

Overall its a great healthy bite at a decent price. This place is cashless so be forewarned.

Stay Trendy, Stay You
–TBG

#NYC

Posted in Photography by
My Partner heralding the sun
Another pretty shot ๐Ÿ™‚

I love candid shots like this. My partner scored this one on an unseasonably warm January morning. It’s a monthly anniversary of ours too today, so I’d like to think this shot is a gift ๐Ÿ™‚ I love seeing the world in new and interesting ways.

Nihilism or New York?

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I’ve been feeling sick a lot lately. Its not a typical sickness either. Its poisonous in nature — slowly breaking down inside of your cells. I don’t feel like a valuable part of my society or country. I find myself looking abroad to places like Japan where even the fast food employees are smiling and happy. Not just for advertising purposes, but because they actually value and enjoy their work.

https://asia.nikkei.com/Business/McDonald-s-to-standardize-prices-at-Japanese-stores

I keep arguing with the why of it. Why do I feel a looming sense of helplessness as I clock in, pay bills and plan my work week. Why does it feel that I am readjusting my expectations to comfort myself? I find myself dreading Sundays nights. I get upset that I don’t feel like going to work the next day, which makes me feel weak and ungrateful, which in turn makes me defensive and angry, then I get tired from repressing my anger and helplessness seeps in, and it all starts over again in a cyclical fashion. I’m exhausted by 8:30pm and only interested in ruining my evening.

Arguably, therapy is a wonderful method of addressing and processing these types of thoughts and feelings. But I wanted to do it myself. I’m not sure if running to a therapist for every little thing is helpful in the long run. Anywho, back to Nihilism vs NYC, I am beginning to feel that my hometown is toxic. Thanks to my partner I have been viewing the city from a different lens. One that doesn’t shrug at the casual racism pervading the streets and office spaces; one that wouldn’t make fun of people who turn green at the sight a smelly hobo on the train; one that gets confused when people don’t exchange basic niceties that is labelled “small talk” and is dispensed with.

Photograph: reddit/DunieMunny

People are just plain rude in NYC. I once gave some girls from Tennessee directions and they also thought I was a tourist because I was “nice”. How bad is it here that an angry looking black chick gets labeled nice just for giving directions? I was born here, and love almost every bit of this city. I have lived in every borough that matters (sorry Staten Island readers) and am a product of a public school education.

But I have had to fight for myself every step of my development. Its a system that failed my parents, and one that I believe is just plain classiest. They build more condos than affordable housing for people who actually live here, and have borne the brunt of NYC rent for 30+ years. Public programs that do good are halted, underfunded or just plain overlooked. You can’t even feed the homeless without lining the city’s pockets with a permit. (It’s not just NYC https://www.cbsnews.com/news/90-year-old-man-2-pastors-charged-with-feeding-homeless-in-florida/, but all over the U.S.) If you were not already born with help, getting any marks you for life.

https://www.bkreader.com/2014/04/09/bloggers-corner-panhandling-moms-in-the-subway-sacrifice-or-scam/

Life here makes me so jaded, that you begin to concoct stories about the various panhandlers on the train. Wondering if its another scam or someone who actually needs aide. So you grapple with whether to give or not, and in my case becoming so frustrated by the mental energy expended that you give nothing at — then resent the person for making me think so hard about it.

I can get pretty nihilistic, wondering What’s the point? Of working, struggling, even caring about my fellow human beings? I am sick of it, and literally become ill when I let these thoughts take up space in my head. So it is being nihilistic or just living in New York that’s making me crazy? I think its a bit of both.

—

TBG